A Letter To A Friend

by bellababylon

My Dear Friend,

No no I am not ignoring you!!!! I have so much love and respect for you I would and could never!!! I hate that my silence has left you so abandoned. I have continued to and forever will to build on the work we have done together. I am off my antidepressants, and doing well. I have broken the mental block that held me back from meditating, and practice Yoga daily. Last night I even led the crew along in a session.

All of this is possible by living a very low stress, high productive yet even keeled lifestyle. I live off the grid with no phones breaking my flow, no continuous bills that I can never make a dent into, just those that are outstanding and I can chip away at. Make progress. I have been reading and studying Buddhism, chakra meditations, tantric breathing and yoga, along with love. Love in everything I do, and opening my heart and eyes up to seeing that it is everywhere. Oddly enough being celibate for a month and half has been quite powerful in growing my self worth, and self love. These writings are built on the shoulders of giants, which you are one.

I am off the grid now and only surface to check in with society every three to four days if I am lucky. You can follow our progress on http://www.1000days.net. The ship is currently disabled as we cut off all of the rusty cables, rigging, and hacking out rotted wood from the main sail’s boom. Capt Reid always talks about seamanship first. We can go on the most glorious everlasting journey’s, but if we don’t take care of our vessel we will get nowhere. I see this as much more then a metaphor for our bodies. And each time he says it I can see he is speaking on many levels. As we are working on the schooner, pulling at settled rusty and rotten bits other things are shaken loose and more decay and damage is revealed. Debris to be swept out, odds and ends that have been held onto for years are deemed garbage and finally tossed out and let go. Screws and bolts are tightened, paint is freshened. She will be in rough shape for the journey to Guyana but once we head out in the spring she will shine with all of the love and attention she has been paid and steal hearts of the neighboring boats.

I think this journey is going to be much of the same for me. Cleaning up, as you say. Not for the things i have done outwardly. Much of those apologies have been sent out. But for the damage done inwardly, to love and respect me. To protect and care for my vessel. Allow her to transcend, become a team. My embodied self, subtle body, and my guiding spirit.

The work we have done together was very much so, emergency trauma. Sutres, setting broken bones, and pulling me out of a coma.

This is getting very long. I will leave you here…

With everlasting love,